Parents: Pressure

So it seems no matter what, if you have Asian parents, your academic childhood life sucked at one point. No, I am not saying you lived your life in a torture chamber with no food and water and only a math textbook to accompany you, but I am saying that at one point you probably wanted to throw your desk out a window and into the fiery depths of hell. And its not only Asian parents that cause their kids to feel like this. Within every race and every society, there are parents who push their kids to their limits and beyond. Using Asian parents as an example, many of the pushy parents were raised in poverty stricken homes possibly in 3rd world countries or non-developed countries. It is easy to understand that they do not want their children to suffer as they had. They moved to America with only the clothes on their back, with maybe some knowledge of English, and made a life for themselves. Then they created you, and yada yada yada. Every time we complain, my mom brings up the "I walked in 2 feet of snow every winter for 3 miles to attend school" story. Not to downplay that story, but when you have heard that story 500 times along with the "I had to kill my own breakfast every morning" story, it loses its effect. Parents in general want to make sure their children are successful. It is in their souls and is hard-wired into their basic instincts. You think a mommy deer wants to see the baby deer grow up to be lazy and get hit by a car? Not really. In the natural world, only the strongest animals and people survive, so parents make a goal to make their children the fittest for survival. However, in the process of doing so, parents can push too hard and cause extreme reactions in their children.

From an Asian family, respect is everything. You respect the teachers. You respect your elders. And you definitely respect your parents. When stress builds up from taking all the pressure and nagging from your parents, it is hard to find a release. Sometimes, I feel like I'm going to explode. It is not like I hate my mother. Far from it, actually. I love her dearly, but sometimes she makes me want to jump out of the second story window behind me and into the rose bushes. From up to 7th grade, I was the nerdy student who did not hang out with my friends. Either because I did not have them, I was studying, or my friends were also studying because of their parents. I studied with my mom everyday, and life was fine for me. Studying was all I knew. In 7th grade, I entered PUBLIC middle school. That may not seem like such a big deal, but I came from a private Christian elementary school where my 6th grade class consisted of 7 people INCLUDING me (and that was the largest they had ever had). In middle school, it seemed like the focus was never on academics and more about socializing and "finding" yourself. I made new friends, and we actually hung out. And just like getting a taste of the forbidden fruit, I could never go back. It was fun to chill and not worry about my SAT's when I was only in 7th grade. In 7th and 8th grade, I allowed myself time to relax, but then my grades started slipping. Not enough to be startling, but enough for my mom to realize she needed to keep me in check and show me my priorities in life. Not that she need to tell me. I almost cried when my first B+ showed on my report card. And it was back to the books. But it was never the same. Now at this point, you may think I hate learning, which is far from the truth. Trust me, I love learning new things. It is just the studying and anti-social part I dislike. I hate the feeling of being alone, and when I study, sometimes I am reminded of that time.

Willingly I study and I am an A student, but sometimes all I want to do when I go home is just relax. Surf the Youtube. Sing a little. But when I do it I hear "Jennifer! I know you are watching videos in there! Do your homework and get back to work!" Alright. Once in while when she does that is fine. TWICE a day gets annoying. And wait. I know what you're thinking, "Then why don't you actually DO your work. Then she wouldn't yell at you." Well, let me break this down for you. I am taking 6 AP classes this year--none of which are those wimpy filler AP classes like Psychology (not that it's bad, just that, you have to admit, is not as challenging as other AP classes). I am also a volunteer for teaching Korean every Thursday. I help with an dog adoption foundation every Sunday. I tutor Saturday mornings, and every Saturday afternoon and Monday afternoon to evening, I work at my part-time job as a tutor. I am also in 5 honor societies and am the VP of one and the President of ASA. I am also in full-time college app mode. Is it too much to ask that I want a little mindless Youtube time? So its safe to say that sometimes, I get a little stressed out and can be volatile to blowing up. Ehem...sorry that was my rant.

The point is, parents should know that we know you love us all dearly. And we know you just want us to succeed, but just as you don't want us to tick you off after a long day of work, sometimes just a small question or statement can throw your teenager into a spiral of anger. So, parents, we love you, but sometimes we want you to just stop nagging at us because we are people too--contrary to popular belief--and we have limits to our patience--and sanity--also. Thanks!